I just lived

I haven’t lived wisely. I haven’t lived save. I haven’t lived just breathing. I haven’t lived without fear. I haven’t lived listening. I had babies when nobody wanted me to have them. I was poor. I was rich. I was both. I never left my flat, but then I went to see the world. I was a wanderer, traveling alone to see magnificent places, but always silent places. Silent people. Beautiful minds and souls. I never look back at my life thinking I would have done things differently if…… If. No. I would have done it all exactly as I did. I’d take the pain, the heartache, the abuse, the scars, everything. I didn’t live for niceties and cupcakes, I lived for wine, hearts, truth, laughter and brains. I never lived bored. I never lived without pain. I never lived healthy because I was born ill. I lived a life of uncomfortable courage, and I lived to be disliked. I lived a life with risks, and I celebrated it. I lived moments worth a thousand tears. But those are the best. I just lived. I just did that……. I should not be proud of it, no. I should write a book about it so others go for those moments worth a thousand tears. I should tell them not to listen. I would teach them courage, and not to give in and how to live through the darkest of days. I felt those moments which never come again. I still do. I can say that at this point in my life I have lived it all. That I know what to be thankful for, and that it was all worth it. Everything. Every single second. Life is magical. It has to be. Love and Light! Simone

19 thoughts on “I just lived

  1. Reblogged this on Notes and commented:
    Why do I feel reading each blog post of yours as if it is your last? Is that how you set out to be when you start writing your blogs or do they just come out each time like that. I feel a lot of melancholy in your words and strangely, I like them even though I’m myself quite a bubbly and a merry-go-round individual. I want to hold your hand and look at your eyes through those thousands of tears you talk about here. I’d love to read your book whenever you wish to write and complete it. I’d wait forever for such a masterpiece. And I feel honored each time when I address you 🙂

    Like

  2. Life does have many bumps and bruises, but it also has much beauty as well. Especially when we finally see that beauty inside, cracked open from our walls of fear by going through one of those bigger bumps.
    Your walls must be getting pretty soft, your gift is showing in your words and photo’s. The words themselves come from much wisdom, they too can only be found as the light comes through those walls.
    Take a bow, many struggle to reach the top of the wall and peak over to see, some even afraid of what lays beyond. But your view is showing nicely, thank you for sharing it ❤

    Liked by 1 person

      1. If you have a chance take a look at the lyrics of the whole song. It is from Sondheim’s musical Follies. The song I’m Still Here has references to American life and to an amazing life journey taken by the character of the woman who sings it. I think you will like it.

        Liked by 1 person

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