Let me define you! Because I can. I have that power. I can make you or break you. I am every single person you will ever let into your heart. I am every single person you forget to deliberately choose to let into your life or not. Every single man or woman you will trust with your very soul will define you. Everyone you fall in love with, and who inhales the essence of who you are, your life blood. We should trust! And we do. We are human. But the world is what it is and has been. So let’s see.
Sometimes we do know. We are very aware of the fact that it will cost us, but we decide to live, truly live for that very moment, no matter the consequences! We are even willing to take that moment to our grave, because sometimes moments like those are worth a whole life lived. Love, passion, other worldliness , even love-hate which are so intertwined in a dangerous circle.
We want to feel, and touch, and see, and absorb the universe; go beyond the boundaries of the fading grey scales we feel trapped in for way too long. At the end these moments could be all life could be about, right?!
Totally with you! If you are stabile, these are moments which make life worth living after all. They can even be healing moments.
If you are not, they can destroy you. So, what I am telling you is, if you are in a situation which you already feel lost in, hurt or undecided because there is pressure, say NO. Listen to yourself. Say NO. You are still there, no matter how lost you think you are.
Believe me, absolutely believe me – the moment, the time for you will come! Don’t let your heart, soul or body be penetrated by some worthless moment you can’t take back. Be it sex or a needle or a pill. Believe me!! – if I could look into your eyes right now, I would! I would tell you! I would sit on that cheap ass dirty bathroom floor with you, drag you up on your feet, and hold your face in the palms of my hands, look into your eyes and I would tell you: “NO”!!! So you believe, that’s not love, nor comfort. Say NO. I can’t carry you out off there, so you need to be your own difference in your world, and say NO. Crawl if that is all you can do. Just get out of it. If you could see my eyes, you’d see the wars, and battles fought. Be strong! You are so much stronger than you think you are.
That’s where we come back to what defines you. It is loss. It is gain. Through the years losses will be what you look at in the mirror, but you will look exactly at the way you handled these losses. Unprepared and left in the cold they will drown you. To be more specific, the way you look at those experiences, the impact you allow them to have in your life will define you. Choose carefully who, and what is worth the pain you might have to live through and go on with. This includes goals.
Those worth it, carry in your heart like a hidden treasure you look back onto with a smile. At the very end, we all lose something or someone, and it would be delusional to think this won’t effect us. Those losses out of your hands, they will happen . The others are your legend, they are your history, combined with the pain of who is lost to us to life or death.
Love and Light,
Once I was told to just be happy about those magical moments spent together, the complete merging of souls, the carefree dancing heart, the feeling of being fully alive. That is good advice. I was very young, and thought everything needs to go on, and have some kind of future. But it doesn’t. You need to understand that. Not everything needs to have a future.
And you are scared and broken walking on, but you have to walk on through your fear. I am speaking of consequences unrelated to our circumstances in life. That is a different chapter all together and a different price to pay.