I had a dream last night where I was wading in shallow waters holding a broken cross up to the sky, screaming at God how he could have let his only son die in torture and such suffering. Even in my dream I thought about trinity, but that was not my reality during that moment when I held the broken cross up to the heavens in tears and sheer anger.
I thought about my complete willingness to die any day, any minute, any second for my daughters and those I love. I would throw myself into fire, waters or bullets to safe them. And I was angry with a God who allows such suffering and more each day.
When I woke up I understood.
This was not my life. My life was everyones’. My lamenting was idiotic. I was the one dying, and I was the one living. I was the one able to see everything, and the one seeing nothing. And all of this, every single thing, was my choice. I was held, and I was holding on. But I had to be out there…..
Palms out, bare, alone, naked, and pure I wanted to wade through those waters!!
So let’s talk about honesty……….and it’s going to suck.
….within segment…… chapter 7/5
Love and strength,